The discussions that we had this week were very interesting, we were talking about gender and the differences that can be found in men and women. We talked for a while about the people who are trying to blur the lines between the different genders and the impact that that is having on society today.

As we spoke about the differences of men and women it was funny to me (as it always is) to note the difference that men and women have. A couple of years ago a friend of mine and I were talking about things and she commented how she wished more men would think like guy men so that more guys could understand girls. I couldn’t help but laugh when she said that but it does bear some thinking about. What differences are there in the mentality of men and women? Are they good or bad?

We talked about how society tends to teach each of the genders what they ‘should’ be like. They try to force ideas onto each other, and while I do not advocate that by any means there are some good things that can come from societal teachings. When we opened the class we talked about a quote that talked about raising boys to be more like girls, and while I disagreed initially I know that there is some merit in the idea. Instead of raising boys to be more like girls what if we were to raise boys to be men, girls to be women and then we do our best to help them understand one another.

As our discussion progressed we ended up talking more and more about how the differences between men and women is not a bad thing but instead something that can balance each other out. Stereotypically men don’t do as well with babies as women, and men tend to be more violent than women. The argument of course being that men are the ‘hunter gatherers’ and women are ‘nurturers’ when it comes to the roles. Now there are exceptions of course but they have shown with studies and reports that boys have a greater tendency to pick up a stick (or anything for that matter) and pretend it is a gun, and women tent to pick up a stick and pretend it is a baby and take care of it. As we talked and discussed the readings that we had and the observations that we made for ourselves I couldn’t help but wonder why people want to blur the lines between genders? I am not trying to say people who have same gender attraction are bad, or the fact that women tend to make less money in the work place is the way it should be, but why should men be more sensitive if they do not make the choice to for themselves? Why should women be pushed to work outside the house if they don’t want to?

To be quite frank the stereo typical roles that men and women have has built a working society for how many hundreds of years or at least builds working families in society for hundreds of years, so why are we working so hard to change it? Again I would be happy to see women making more money in the workplace if that is what they want to do, or for men to understand women regularly, but why are we forcing change instead of motivation change? I have had many conversations with my wife where when she tells people that she wants to be a full time mom she is questioned and told that she is wrong. But I can’t help but ask why? If that is what she wants who should be able to question that?

I firmly believe that genders existed before we were born and there are not ‘mistakes’ with gender. Are there more masculine women than me absolutely, are there more feminine men than my wife? Heck yeah there is. But does that mean that they have to be ashamed of that? Why is that not accepted by society to the point where they feel the need to change? A story was shared of a woman who has a medical condition that causes more testosterone in her body than the average woman, she was not into babies or dresses, and she liked going out and doing guy stuff more than the average girl. She is happily married to a man, and lives as happy and satisfying a life as anyone else and it didn’t require her to do anything other than live up to herself.

I am not trying to sound arrogant enough to say that I know the answer to every problem going on out in life, but I do know that if we were to raise boys to be men (however they chose to be) and girls to be women (again however they choose to do that) than I think there would be a lot more satisfaction in the lives of people in general. Why is who, how, why and what you are bad? Why do you need to change?

I was never a ‘normal person’ and for many years I was angry about it but once I started to live true to myself, then I started to be happier and I grew into a better person. Somehow I convinced my Beautiful wife to marry me and you know what, this still not normal guy has a happy marriage with a wonderful wife who completes me and helps me be my best self. We get in arguments about x-men, jedi’s, and she indulges my nerd-iness when buying me gifts. I love her desire to dress up our kids and research medical conditions that just don’t make sense to me. Life is not easy nor will it ever be but if you own who you are then what is the big deal? Why do we push our own ideas on other people about ‘how they should be’?

I am not a philosopher however and honestly would love to hear anyone’s thoughts on things like this. If you try to change my mind about any one thing then honestly ‘good luck’ but I realize your opinions are important to. Please share if you are willing.