So this week we had an interesting discussion about sex in class, and it was not one of those that everyone was blushing and giggling about the whole time we talked about sex and the effects of it on relationships. We also talked about the different effects of the hormones in the body and even about the different stages of sex. I had no idea people had classified it into four different stages of sex. It makes sense that someone would have but I had honestly never thought about it like that, but I will get to that later. We also talked about the different problems that happen in marriage with intimacy and the different ways that men and women look at things and how misunderstandings can come into the mix without either him or her realizing.

On to the fun part of what happened in class. The first and most obvious thing that we talked about to get it out of the way was the physiological differences between arousal of men and women. We were talking about the 4 stages of sex as we talked about this, and the first stage is called Excitement.

1.       Excitement: When the person is aroused. Men have an erection, Women lubricate, but both prepare for Sex.

2.       Plateau: Pre Orgasm. Men tend to get to and through this much quicker than Women.

3.       Orgasm: Women sometimes take longer of getting here, but sometimes Women can experience more than one, Men cannot.

4.       Resolution: coming down from the Orgasm, usually women come down in descending waves while men drop like a rock.

The hormones experienced during sex.

-          Serotonin: Feels a sense of emotional warmth.

-          Dopamine: Feeling of excitement/thrill.

-          Oxytocin: A strong sense of Bonding.

Each of these hormones creates a blend that in all humans foster or essentially throw miracle grow in relationships, fondness and ultimately love. They are each important individually and quite honestly serve important roles.

We talked about some of the problems that come with intimacy. There are many potential problems in intimacy of any kind. There is no ‘one size fixes all’ when it comes to problems in the marriage. Sometimes men don’t understand that Women may want snuggling/kissing to be a totally separate act than sex. Sometimes she needs to know that those things are still there in the marriage in order to feel more secure in the marriage. It is something that men need to remember and be sensitive too, however on the flip side of that is that when women say no to sex for men it makes men feel as though something is wrong (even if there is not) and it can add to the problem if women don’t tell the guy ‘why’ they don’t want sex. So all in all both men and women need to be willing to talk about whatever they are feeling because let’s face it, it is hard to know what is going on in another person’s mind.