So class this week was interesting because we only met once but what we walked about was fascination to me because it coincided perfectly with the situation that my wife and I are in right now.

Interestingly the first thing we began talking about was “Why do people like going out and camping?” We had a few people who were not too enthusiastic about the idea of going out and camping in the cold (it is too cold to snow up in Rexburg right now) but I digress. We talked about how there is something bonding about going out in nature and ‘working for survival and comfort’ that is provides a unique opportunity to work side by side with someone and get to know them and the work ethic that they have. I don’t know if you have ever heard the adage that goes something along the lines of “Don’t marry someone until you have taken them out camping”. We talked about how that is a unique opportunity to see not only how people are with working and providing, but also to see how they handle being away from day to day comforts that we tend to take for granted.

We moved the conversation to the past and the industrial revolution and how things in the dynamic of the family changed so dramatically with women and children leaving the home to work. We talked about how that was ‘supposed’ to make life easier because that would get rid of the financial burden that the family had and since that is the biggest stressor it would make sense that getting rid of it would solve a lot of problems right? Wrong as the families separated and were more influenced by the world without any kind regulation on the part of the parents it just drove families apart and they did not rely on one another. The flip side of that being when people would work on farms as a family, and would trade goods for goods and money was always tight, but the families were always together, the kids being taught by the parents and the families learning how to work together. We talked about the benefits and the costs of the husband and wife both working now a days because the mentality that we have is more like the industrial revolution.

If we look at the American history most people would readily admit to the industrial revolution being one of the hardest times that America had when it came to the family and financial situations. But if we could let go of that a bit and think more about the time of ‘farming’ and the things that the families gained by working side by side, relying on one another and trusting not just each other but the community as a whole things worked more smoothly for family life.

There was a study done I think shortly after 2000 of men and women who work outside the home. The average income for him was $42,000/yr and after one maternity leave for her was $21,000/yr but when they factored in the cost of child care the final amount that they were making as a couple was a grand total of $40,000. So the couple was in the end paying $23,000 so their child could be raised by a stranger, not having enough time as a family, constantly being worn out by their jobs and not getting to know their spouse or their child as much as they could.

I know that is not the standard for everything, but when considering the benefits of having two parents working outside the home remember to factor in more than just the financial benefits, but the impact that will be felt by your family structure.